The Hawaiian Forgiveness Ritual: Ho’oponopono
The Hawaiian ritual of forgiveness is called Ho`oponopono. Until recently, I had never heard of Ho’oponopono. During various annual trips to Hawaii, I started to learn about Ho`oponopono. I had been exploring my spirituality, expanding my creativity, and training to be a chakra therapist. The beautiful “Islands of Aloha” charmed me and my husband and we became more enthralled with the Hawaiian way of life. I was introduced to a tiny book, Ho`oponopono: The Hawaiian Forgiveness Ritual as the Key to Your Life’s Fulfillment, by Ulrich E. Dupree.
Initially, I was skeptical. However, because I was in the early stages of writing a book about the chakra system and finding balance, my interest was piqued. I read the book and did all of the proposed exercises. I then researched everything I could find about Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len, who has been teaching the Ho`oponopono system since 1983.
It seems too simple to be effective. But on our latest trip to Hawaii, I decided to diligently use the Ho`oponopono rituals – and I was shocked by the transformative power that these seemingly simple rituals contained. However, despite the ritual’s simplicity, being able to honestly forgive, and to let go, is no easy task – but I really think I’m onto something. Ho`oponopono heals excessive and deficient heart chakras, and it gave me another beautiful technique for healing unbalanced chakras.
Ho`oponopono is the Hawaiian ritual of forgiveness; it promotes unity of everyone and everything, including the healing of ourselves and the earth. There is a large component of looking after our planet in order to have peace, balance, and harmony. Like other ancient cultures, the Hawaiian culture promotes teaching wisdom and love. Our modern North American ways often promote self-indulgence, and we tend to be a more disposable society. The Hawaiians are known for caring for themselves, their ancestors, and their land, and for being authentic. There is a name for this in Hawaiian: Malama Pono.
Ho`oponopono is a beautiful practice that restores harmony and balance through a simple four-step ritual or prayer. The consistent completion of a Ho`oponopono exercise transforms negative energy into positive outcomes.
There are four intentions:
I am sorry
Please forgive me
I love you
Thank you
Such simple phrases seem unlikely to be transformative or profound. However, if done authentically and consistently, these four phrases can be life changing.
I am sorry
This is not about who is right or wrong. It is about being humble and able to acknowledge, even when we try hard, that we can hurt others, inadvertently. Acknowledgement of our role in harm returns us to our innocent, balanced selves. By saying “I am sorry,” we recognize that there is pain and struggle within ourselves and others. We are able to recognize our portion of the responsibility, either by ourselves or through our ancestors or our cultures, or because we are humans and we are able to fully feel remorse.
Please forgive me
Freedom! Even if we are not forgiven, we free ourselves. The hard part is to ask for forgiveness of someone who has harmed us. But the act of asking for forgiveness is for us: to liberate and to be untethered by negative emotions and thoughts. Asking for forgiveness for what we or our ancestors consciously or unconsciously have done to cause pain, turmoil, or disruption frees us. Asking for forgiveness brings harmony and love. This phrase allows us to be able to ask for forgiveness for judgements, negative thoughts, and negative memories.
I love you
Love provides the energy of connection. Being able to say I love you to ourselves, to others, to the planet, and to the Divine gives us the energy to remain connected. Through authentic love, we can achieve for what we strive. Often, we are blocked from unresolved wounds, and the way to release the blockages is to love – unconditionally. Ho`oponopono helps clear the blockages, and it leads to joy, connection, peace, and balance. Saying “I love you” allows us to see the Divine in ourselves and in others, even those who have wronged us. Being able to love and accept, even through traumatic issues, allows us to see more clearly, and to be able to cope with life’s challenges. It is liberating to be able to love ourselves and others – despite our flaws, imperfections, and weaknesses.
Thank you
Gratitude leads to abundance. Saying “thank you” allows us to accept painful situations, and it helps us to learn from our challenges, mistakes, and wounds. We are stronger and more resilient following a painful or challenging experience, and if we are able to be thankful for these hurdles, we can experience enlightenment and abundance.
Saying “thank you” enables us to be grateful for the positive changes that are already happening within ourselves, as we have a more positive outlook. Saying “thank you” allows us to be thankful to the Divine, and for moving beyond bitterness, anger, judgement, and regret. Saying “thank you” allows us to be appreciative for being free of the clutches of the past: negative thoughts, negative feelings, and harmful judgement. Saying “thank you” allows us to be able to be thankful for unity with others, the world, the universe, and the Divine.
I am sorry
Please forgive me
I love you
Thank you
There is an energy shift when we speak these phrases to ourselves, to relatives, to ancestors, and to the land. If there is a situation where we find it difficult to speak these words, there is likely a blockage – and it is even more important to do the work.
Using Ho’oponopono is not always simple or easy. Personally, the most challenging Ho`oponopono issue I’ve worked through was related to the time our family was betrayed by someone we believed was a friend. This so-called friend ended up being an economic predator who caused enormous pain and loss to many.
I was blocked, and I found it very challenging to verbally say the words – even in my mind – that I was sorry, and that I was asking for forgiveness, let alone that I was able to forgive him in the first place. However, when I could finally do so, I felt a huge weight lifted and I no longer carried resentment and anger around with me. Often, victims of crimes struggle with letting go of the anger and pain. Being able to forgive and let go is both healing and challenging. Ho`oponopono relieves negative emotions; it takes the pain and channels it, and rids it of emotional baggage.
The goal of Ho`oponopono is no harm. Ancient Hawaiian knowledge and wisdom (Huna), such as Ho`oponopono, have been passed down by the Kahunas (Huna experts). Unity, inner peace, and a return to harmony and balance are all strived for. Ho means to make. Pono means right. Ho`oponopono means to make totally right. It purifies or cleanses us from blockages, fears, wounds, resentment, and anger. Our attachment to fear, judgements, negative thoughts, anger, and resentment is painful, harmful, and destructive to ourselves.
We must dig deep in some situations, especially when we feel we are right and they are wrong – and even more so if we have been hurt. But it does not matter about right and wrong. It is about making things totally right by forgiving, loving, and rebalancing ourselves. When we are right with ourselves, others, the world, and the Divine, we help to ignite universal forgiveness and love.
To do the four intentions, we must spend time in self-assessment and recognize what is out of balance. We must be courageous. We must be able to describe the problem, and then search within ourselves to find our share in the issue. Our share of the issue can be judgement, resentment, hatred, an action, or a negative memory.
We must forgive unconditionally, and this can be very difficult when we or someone we love has been harmed or wronged. But it is the way to freedom. We speak the four intentions, usually silently, and in a mindful manner. I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you. We give thanks, and we trust that the issue is behind us, and we let it go. Only when we let go of our old pain, wounds, and negative memories can we become balanced, at peace, and harmoniously free.
Simple issues may take one quick Ho`oponopono ritual. Complex, old, and very painful situations, however, may take time, and repeated sessions, to forgive and let go.
The story of Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len is an amazing account of consistently using these four intentions honestly, and being able to influence the community of a mental health unit for prisoners. His story is an extreme example of someone who worked on purifying himself and repeatedly owning the issues of the prisoners until there was a miraculous positive shift in the workers and prisoners on the psychiatric unit of the state prison of Kaneohe on Oahu.
Although Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len did not have the issues himself, he owned the issues of the prisoners and workers of the unit and repeatedly performed Ho`oponopono rituals. If someone in a family, community, country, or world has a problem, then we all have a problem. The premise of Ho`oponopono is that we all have the responsibility to forgive and to make things right. Repeating the intentions and practising the ritual consistently is important. Old patterns are hard to break, and often negative self-talk, anger, resentment, and judgement creep into our thinking if we don’t use Ho`oponopono consistently.
Forgiveness is not a one-time thing.
Forgiveness is a life-style.
(Dr. Martin Luther King)
Ho`oponopono, through the rituals of forgiveness, allows us to be unified, to become aware and balanced. Ultimately, through authentic forgiveness, we can influence wounds, challenges, and problems outside of ourselves.
I am sorry
Please forgive me
I love you
Thank you
Using these words as a prayer, meditation, or ritual can bring you to inner peace, from separation to union, from disharmony to harmony, and from imbalance to balance. Ho`oponopono is not only for forgiving or being forgiven by others; it is also about forgiving ourselves.
Loving others at the expense of ourselves is an example of an excessive heart chakra, and we become negative toward ourselves. If we constantly say “yes,” do for others at the expense of our own health or happiness, and feel resentment, we are not truly loving. Ho`oponopono can be used to apologize for not being caring towards ourselves. Again, old habits die slowly, and the Ho`oponopono rituals will need to be consistently repeated to end the cycle of not loving ourselves.
The goals of Ho`oponopono are to stop making judgements, to be more discriminating about what hinders and what is beneficial, to be level headed and balanced, to do self-assessments, and to do no harm.
I am sorry
Please forgive me
I love you
Thank you